Nightmare Reborn
by TheOpenCorridor
Summary: When Icedapple tells her sister her darkest, deepest secret, she struggles to try and live with her affliction until one night, she finally figures out the solution. But it is long, difficult and could change the Clans' fate forever.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Icedapple sighed, trembling as fear wrapped its cold paws around her.

"What is going on?" Rainwolf inquired, her eyes round with concern.

Icedapple eyed the grey tabby she-cat. "I…" She gulped. "I'm not who you think I am."

Rainwolf cocked her head. "Well…you are my sister. I know who you are well enough."

"You may be convinced that you know me, but if you saw what is_ actually_ inside of me, you would wish you would have never known me," Icedapple told her, trying not to let her legs buckle in despair.

When she received no response, she swallowed down her reluctance and forced herself to explain further. "I'm…I'm chaos. I'm a nightmare. I'm not even supposed to be alive. They say that the spirits killed in the Dark Forest Battle are dead, but I promise you they are not. They have been reincarnated into the living Clan cats."

Rainwolf began to purr. "I doubt that you are being serious."

Icedapple's gaze pierced her to the bone. "I have never been more serious in my life. You may not believe me, but I cannot hold this in any longer. I was one of those cats. Every night I dream of what I did in the past and it torments me—you have no idea how horrible I was…" She shivered. "And now I cannot escape from it. I can never forgive myself for what I did in my previous life, even if it happened generations ago."

She could see in her sister's eyes that she was not being regarded in the manner she had hoped. "Perhaps you should visit Olivecloud about it," Rainwolf mewed, "I'm certain she has some techniques in which to deal with that sort of issue. After all, she does have the gift of StarClan's wisdom."

Her intense trepidation quickly melted into fury. "How would she help me? 'StarClan's wisdom?' Are you jesting? If they thought that it was a good idea to place me back here, they are anything but wise."

Rainwolf's eyes clouded. "Watch your tongue," she warned, "StarClan does more for you than you would think."

Icedapple's fur raised and a hiss rang out of her and into the clearing. "Like what? Placing me back here to endure more torture with what I have done?"

"They gave you a second chance. They have given you the chance to correct your mistakes, however bad they were. When you are older and more appreciative, you will be at their paws thanking them endlessly." Her sister shot her a glare as she spoke.

Icedapple considered what Rainwolf had pointed out, but her anger took over her. "You know nothing. If you knew how terrible my deeds were, you would see that they could never be forgiven, no matter how hard I try to correct them." Not waiting for a response, the white she-cat spun around and hurried out of the clearing. She heard Rainwolf call her name, but she did not care. She knew that she could tell no one, not even her own sister.

Hot with infuriation, Icedapple burst into the clearing, pelting to the Warriors den and plopping down onto her empty, cold nest. "Who put thorns in your fur?" Sundawn asked, yawning as she did so.

Everything that Icedapple was experiencing suddenly exploded and were all hurled at Sundawn. "You know for a fact, mangepelt, that it is better to stay out of my affairs. Do not dare ask me again. You think you know how to help but you don't. Stop taking so much pride in yourself and realize how thick-headed you are," She snarled.

Sundawn blinked, apparently not affected. "I asked a simple question," she meowed, turning over in her nest.

"I do not care. Stay out of my business," Icedapple hissed.

Silence gripped the air after she said that, and after awhile, Icedapple began to calm down despite the fact that she knew she would be plagued by yet another nightmare of her previous life. Hanging her head in despair, she laid her head down, worrying, shaking, panting…

Waiting for her ultimate nightmare to come alive.

Icedapple stayed awake the entire night, watching as the shadows loomed across the den, and wondered if she would ever find the salvation she needed. She pondered her issue, her eyes weary with exhaustion…and the sun was beginning to appear over the horizon when it finally clicked.

She sat up in her nest, her paws tingling in excitement.

She finally knew what she had to do.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Icedapple ran out of the den as fast as she could. She sped past the fresh-kill pile and a couple of Elders, their startled mews barely audible to her as her thoughts swarmed at hyperactive speed inside her mind. She had no time to waste. The dim morning light seeped into her fur as she sprinted into the grassland, ignoring the stickers that latched onto her pelt as her legs took her farther and farther out of ThunderClan territory. Eventually, fatigue took grip of her, and she slowed down as she neared her destination. Icedapple was not certain if her plan would work, but she had to make an effort or her life would forever be the shadow of who she used to be. Even before she opened her eyes-she was plagued by the faces of her victims, the horrified expressions in their eyes as she gave them the killing blow...so many innocent lives...

And now, she watched her descendants everyday and saw the monster she once was each time she looked into their eyes. No matter how many times she told herself that she was now a different cat, she could not shake the feeling that there was still something she could do about her former self, and that is why when she padded towards the Moonpool, she was determined to set things straight this time around.

She walked until she was just inches from the water. Icedapple stared at her reflection for what seemed like eternity. In her eyes, she saw a monster. She saw death. She saw the Dark Forest. She saw the lost souls of her victims pleading for their lives back. A strong fury burned inside her like she had never felt before, and she glared at her reflection, knowing that StarClan was listening. "Why do you allow me to suffer? Why did you not just let me die like I deserved?" Icedapple sighed, heaving a deep breath so that she would not burst into a fit of rage. "I am not asking that you get rid of me-I just want to make things right. This isn't a second chance at life-this is torture. If I could prevent anything that ever happened, perhaps I wouldn't be here today...but at least I would have lived a better life than...than being a monster..."

All of a sudden, her reflection changed. She looked on in horror as it morphed into who she once was-the nightmare that she had become when she was killed. He stared at her, a conceited and maniacal smirk dancing in his eyes. Icedapple's instinct was to turn her head and to never set eyes upon herself again, but she knew better than to cower away. Instead, she glared at herself and made a promise to make things right this time-no matter how hard it will be. She inched so close to the water that she tipped over and splashed into the pool. In a frenzy, Icedapple's eye's widened as she made every movement she could-kicking, waving, biting-but spots began to appear before her eyes...water filled her mouth and seemed to consume her...

Icedapple knew she was still alive. She knew her request to StarClan had been fulfilled as soon as she felt her soul float out of her body. She could not see anything, but when light hit her eyes she lurched.

The melodic songs of the birds seeped through her ears. Icedapple was a little hesitant to open her eyes. She was not certain what she would wake up to-the warriors den in ThunderClan territory, or perhaps as her old self again? Slowly blinking, she scrutinized the area. Tall trees loomed above her, and so many old scents and memories smacked her all at once- causing a sob to rise in her throat. She lay there, knowing exactly where she was and not believing that she was once again in this place that was home to so many of her nightmares. Determination shot through Icedapple-she refused to allow herself to fail this time.

She began grooming her pelt to see if she was in fact Icedapple or her former self. After catching the white gleam in her coat, her confidence disintegrated and she knew this current situation would be more difficult for her than expected. She was still Icedapple, and somewhere in the depths of this forsaken place was the monster. How old would he be? Would he be an adult? Would he be a kit? Or would he perhaps not even be in ThunderClan territory?

So many questions buzzed around Icedapple's head like bees, and she tried to shake them away but they still persisted the drain her determination out of her. Should she go back...?

Before Icedapple could ponder her puzzlement, something sounded in the bushes. She jumped, hissing and glaring at the rustling ferns as it continuously shook, growing more and more violent by the minute. Shivers traveled down her spine as she stared, her breath quickening as the scent of the intruder wafted into the air..._oh no...it's me..._

Just as she realized who it was, the kitten sprung from the bushes and right into her.

"Oh...I'm sorry..."

Icedapple shot the kit a merciless glare, but all resentment melted away when she discerned the innocence in Tigerkit's eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

"I...It's fine..." Icedapple replied, trying to hold back her shock as she gazed at Tigerkit.

The kit tilted his head inquisitively, frozen to the spot. She knew what he was thinking..._she cannot be an intruder, she smells like ThunderClan..._

"Who are you?" He demanded.

Icedapple sighed, angry at herself for not planning what she was going to say. She tried to a form a tone that was free of any kind of trepidation, but her voice cracked as she spoke. "I...I'm here to see you."

Tigerkit's eyes flashed with annoyance, an emotion that Icedapple was all too familiar with. "You're lying," he spat, "I've never seen you here before, why would you want to see me?"

A lump formed in her throat. Just as she was about to reply, a vicious yowl split the air. "Tigerkit! Get back here right now! You are _not _supposed to be outside of camp!"

Tigerkit spun around as Icedapple cringed; she recognized the voice. _Mother..._

Leopardfoot burst into the clearing, relief showering her features. "You know how dangerous it is to be out here!" She fretted. Tigerkit began to whine when he was picked up by the scruff, struggling to free himself. "I was talking to a she-cat."

Icedapple could have swore her heart stopped. Leopardfoot paused, scanning the area of any other signs of life. "A she-cat? Where?"

Tigerkit gave her a look. "Right in front of us!"

Icedapple watched his mother's eyes scrutinize the clearing once again, only to look right through Icedapple's form and shake her head. "I'm not having any of this. Let's get back to camp."

The young tom's eyes widened. As he was carried away, she could discern the puzzlement plaguing him when he stared at her. Once he was out of sight, Icedapple drew in a deep breath, taking in her surroundings. Her form was shaking tremendously from her encounter with her former self. What had she got herself into? Was she going to cause more trouble for Tigerkit than he did in his lifetime? Memories of murdering innocent clanmates played through her mind like a solemn requiem, and it dawned on her that no matter what she did, she could never allow Tigerkit to make the mistakes he did in the past. She was determined to change history around, not caring how it would transform the timeline.

Confidence sprouting within her, Icedapple hurried after the two cats, trying to ignore the overwhelming assault of the familiar scents and sights around her. That failed when she entered the camp and lurched in shock at the faces she saw. A herd of her former clanmates were gathered around Leopardfoot, comments flying out of their jaws to and fro.

"I'm glad he's alright!"

"I was worried! Where did you find him?"

"That kit is trouble!"

Embarrassment seemed to flood Tigerkit at the mention of his escape, and Icedapple watched him retreat into the nursery, Bluefur following close behind.

Icedapple closed her eyes, attempting to block out the image of when Tigerclaw was trying to slit her throat...

"Are you alright?" She heard Bluefur inquire.

"I'm fine," Tigerkit snapped.

When Icedapple bothered to open her eyes again, she was confronted with the confused gaze of Tigerkit. His amber eyes were watching her from behind the security of the brambles and foliage wall of the nursery den, his expression calculating. She swallowed nervously, knowing that she could not turn back now...

* * *

It was when night dawned on the forest that Icedapple felt it was the right time to explain her intention to Tigerkit. Knowing she would terrify the young kit if she told the truth, she had decided earlier that day to lie to him. She was objected to no guilt whatsoever-it was the end result that counted. She made her way into the nursery den, making sure to be as gentle with her movements as possible.

Tigerkit spotted her right away. He was stirring in his mother's nest, and his eyes were wide open as if he had never ventured to sleep. He jumped up, hissing wildly. "Who are you?!"

Icedapple swiped her paw across his muzzle. "Shh, you do not want to wake anyone," she mewed.

Tigerkit froze, staring at her with such intensity that she had to lift her gaze from his. She gestured for him to follow her outside, and after a moment of hesitation, he was on her heels and wandered with her to the center of the camp. The darkened sky was smothered in stars, and Icedapple tried to comfort herself in that it was a beautiful night, but her concerns of how Tigerkit would react to her took over and her breath began to quicken. There was an awkward moment of silence. An eerie stillness hung in the air, and Icedapple began shuffling her paws to pass the time. Eventually, Tigerkit's string of inquiries split the silence. "Who are you? Why are you here? Why can't anyone else see you? Are you my Guardian? A cat of StarClan? A-"

Icedapple's hiss cut him off, and all she wanted to do was to spill all that he would do in the future-all the horrible deeds he would commit. However, it was not that simple-he could never handle the truth. "I...I am your Guardian," she began, curling her tail over her paws and trying to steady herself. Tigerkit glared up at her with round eyes, expectation shimmering within them. Icedapple's voice cracked. "I am here to help guide you."

"Are you from StarClan?"

She blinked. "Yes."

His glare grew stronger. "How can you ever guide me? I can guide myself!"

"I know what you are going through, Tigerkit."

"No you don't! You will _never _understand!"

Sorrow seized her chest. "You think I don't? I know you are merely masking your sadness with rage. I know how it feels like to have your father abandon you for a _kittypet _life! I have struggled with the guilt of my siblings dying but not I, and asking myself every night, _why me? Why was it me that lived? Why did they have to die?" _Tigerkit stood there stunned, beginning to tremor as she went on, "And furthermore, I know what it is like to listen to whispers amongst the Clan, 'Oh, she was the _weakest _of the litter. She shouldn't be _alive, _she was never meant to be."

A sob rose in Tigerkit's throat, and it looked as if he was about to collapse. "I..how...how..." He bowed his head in shame, sorrow wrapping itself around his fragile form. "They're right...I'm not supposed to be alive..."

Icedapple shook her head. He was right, he was never destined to live. He was supposed to have perished with his siblings in the dead of night, but he could never believe that this time around. She had to correct it. She remembered being in his body, thirsting for power in order to prove to everyone he _was _strong, and that he _was _meant to be. _I cannot let that happen again... _Sitting down in order to get to his level, she tried to maintain eye contact with him. "No. You are wrong. _They _are wrong! No matter what they say, you are alive for a _reason. _You survived because you were meant to-you have a purpose in life as do all other cats. You are a good young tom, and do not allow those comments to bring you down. Be brave, be strong. Do this for the sake of your siblings. Achieve your dreams. Be happy. Do not allow anyone to tell you otherwise!"_  
_

Tigerkit fell into her fur, sobs still drifting from his jaws. "But...they say I was _weak..."_

"Don't listen to them," she insisted, "They are wrong. Prove to them that you _aren't _weak! Face those comments with your spirits and head held high, and when they see how happy you are despite them, it will show just how strong you really are."

There was a long, drawn out silence. The only sound came from Tigerkit, his lamentation growing more quieter as time went on. Icedapple held him close, knowing that understanding and encouragement was what he needed all along. After awhile, he removed himself from her, and when she looked into his eyes, incredulousness gripped her by the heart...she saw an emotion that she had never felt as her former self before...

It was hope.


	4. Chapter 4

**Tigerkit's Point of View**

Every morning, he awoke to the scent and gaze of the mysterious she-cat.

He did not know her name, but he figured she would tell him in time. He had given up in attempting to confide in his mother about the situation, as she never seemed to believe him. Things were rather awkward at first, but after he was thrown into apprenticeship, a constant worried look occupied the she-cat's face each time she would come see him. Tigerpaw would ask her what was wrong, but she would conjure up a convenient excuse whenever he did, so he gave up any effort to console her. The only reason in which he had stopped insulting her was because of her grace. A certain radiance emanated from her, and every time he would catch a glimpse of her it was as if the heavens had cascaded from the clouds. Her icy blue eyes, although cold in nature, were warm and nurturing when they fell upon him, and whatever she told him he would absorb right away. It was a few moons into his apprenticeship when he began to question her words.

"You need to fight _harder," _his mentor groaned, exasperation ringing within his voice.

Tigerpaw tried to avoid his gaze. "I'm sorry, Thistleclaw..."

"Saying sorry doesn't do you any good!" Thistleclaw growled, baring his teeth as he edged closer to the younger tom. "You need to combat your _weakness. _Do you want to be a warrior or not?"_  
_

The term 'weakness' slashed through Tigerpaw's heart, and his eyes watered. He nodded meekly, the towering trees seeming to close in around him as Thistleclaw padded even closer. "Then _do _as I say," he meowed, "Or I'll show you how a _real _warrior treats his prey."

After the session, Tigerpaw dragged himself wearily into ThunderClan camp, avoiding the other cats as he ventured into the Apprentice den and collapsed onto his nest. What was he to do? He had fought hard in his training that day, yet Thistleclaw was still unsatisfied with his progress. Tigerpaw could not allow everyone to continue calling him weak forever. Was he supposed to be malicious and heartless in order to be identified differently, as his mentor implied? He had been debating the subject for quite some time when the she-cat entered the den, her lovely white leopard-spotted pelt luminous in the sunlight that filtered through the branches. Tigerpaw perked his head up in hope, watching her every move as she walked towards him. "It's you again," he mewed.

She purred. "It's always me, silly. How was your training?"

At her inquiry, Tigerpaw's upbeat posture slacked off once again. "Frustrating."

"Thistleclaw again?" She guessed. He nodded slowly, his eyes tearing away from her form and wandering to the den wall.

"Remember, you have to ignore what he tells you," she mewed, "once he sees that his insults do not get to you, he will stop."

"But they _do _get to me," he whined, "he calls me weak and says that if I don't fight hard enough I won't become a warrior."

The she-cat's eyes glossed with sympathy. Tigerpaw hid his face, sensitive to others seeing him in his downward spirals. She inched closer to him and placed her tail over his shoulders, whispering kind words to him. "Just because he thinks that doesn't mean it is true. You have to remember that. If you really want him to think you are strong, show him sarcasm, show him confidence. Shoot down his insults with humor."

Tigerpaw wasn't so sure. Thistleclaw was a rather rigid individual, if one humorous jab was launched at his insults, anything could go wrong...but he trusted the she-cat's judgement and reluctantly complied. "Alright, I'll try it. But if it doesn't work then I don't know what I will do." She nodded in understanding. "No matter what happens, try your best. The worst thing you could do is _become _Thistleclaw."

The words were stuck in Tigerpaw's mind long after she departed from his presence. Even when the other apprentices came into the den and settled into their nests, he was still planted to the same spot as before, agonizing over every detail of his encounter with her. Why was she so interested in helping him? He had wondered about this for moons, but she never provided him an answer. An eerie sense of knowledge always clung to her persona, and just thinking about it made Tigerpaw shiver...

Did she know something that Tigerpaw didn't?


End file.
